she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
