I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
