If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
