just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
