it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize