she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
