I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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