I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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