i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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