i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
