i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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