He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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