8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
someone owes me an orgasm
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
