We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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