Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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