Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
