every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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