Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
