I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
