I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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