UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
