No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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