just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
