while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
