Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
