my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
