I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
