so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
