So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
not ubering you a puppy
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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