I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
