Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
