she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
