do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
