Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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