My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
