so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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