I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
