just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
