i jhust puked up my retainher.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize