I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
