I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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