Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
