okay pat passed out under dana's car
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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