it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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