As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
