I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
please come you make the beer taste better
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
