To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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