My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
