I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
