dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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