are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
