DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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