Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
