we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
