It's Friday. Sex?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
