WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
