I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
