Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
