help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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