I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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