it was like his penis was on wheels.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize